Confidence. It’s said that some people have it and some people don’t – is that really true?
At least that’s how I used to think until a few years ago. I could fake confidence successfully in front of a crowd or in important meetings that when I would later tell close friends or colleagues that I wasn’t so confident, they wouldn’t believe me!
All the while I kept wishing that my confidence came from a more reliable, constant unshakeable source. I have never been a fan of faking anything, including confidence because I believe that authenticity is the bedrock of a life well lived and can lead to beautiful, soulful experiences and relationships.
After I got tired of wishing and wanting more confidence, I decided to pursue this thing called confidence, investigate the source of it and make it a part of my life. It eventually happened and today I am happy to report I’m worlds apart from my previous self in terms of confidence and all the beautiful qualities that accompany it – grit, determination, and a steadfast vision. Today I want to share 3 powerful tips that could help you too.
Take inventory of all those people who, in your perspective, display tremendous confidence in themselves and how they conduct themselves in daily lives. Study them from close quarters and if possible, share with them your admiration for their qualities. Nobody can resist such a genuine compliment and probably you can get them to mentor you or at least share with you their perspective on developing confidence.
An area in your life where you feel very confident
There is most likely an area in your life where you are more confident than any other. Is it related to health, fitness, project management, relationships including parenting, hobbies including gardening or cooking? What makes you confident in that area? Is it your organization skills that make you a great project manager? Is it learning and becoming stronger by making “mistakes” that have made you strong at managing the relationships in your life?
Just get curious and see how you can apply that insight to another area in your life. To give you an example, in my corporate career I was known as a superb project manager because I have the ability to look at the big picture, break it down into chunks and get super organized. With increasing levels of success, I am able to apply that to organizing aspects of my business as well and can see the impact already.
Step outside your comfort zone
Confidence comes from taking action. It is like any other muscle, that gets stronger with practice. The best way to get over a fear or discomfort is by exposing yourself to it in increasingly larger doses. Whenever I hold an event or a workshop, I’ll be equally excited and nervous. I walk into the audience nevertheless with butterflies in my stomach.
I then remind myself of the WHY of whatever it is I am doing and it gives me strength. For example, in the case of a workshop, I remind myself that this is not about me but about giving my audience value, something that will enrich their lives. Connecting with my audience with that intention takes the pressure off of me magically.
Let me share a bonus tip. The unshakeable source of confidence that I told you about? It’s within each of us. None of our lives is an accident. Each of us is blessed with all the resources we will ever need to lead a meaningful life. When you step into that knowledge and feel the beauty and power of it, you will feel confidence surge through your veins.
I hope this blog was helpful. If you are struggling with confidence and need to talk about your unique situation, just send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.